Get involved with the things you love, pour your heart and soul into projects you are passionate about, and be so busy that you don’t have time to be upset, or feel lonely. Trust me. You’ll get to the point where you’ve built yourself up so much that you don’t rely on the company of others, you’re happy and are doing what you love, and make time for friends when needed.
I Needed Time
Because of you, I learned what it meant to be at peace with myself. After you left, I learned how to be alone. It took a long time for me to understand that being alone didn’t mean I had to be lonely. I worked on myself. I spoiled myself. I loved myself. And I gave myself the best gift I could have asked for. Time. I needed time to be okay with my own thoughts. My own feelings. My own need to understand the way things were and why I felt a certain way about certain things. I needed time to confess my sins to myself and truly understand what I wanted to get out of the situation I was in. I needed time to be broken so I could understand what I needed to be strong.
Give Her Space
What to do when she asks for “space” ? Most of us men, including me, don’t know what this means to be honest. All we hear is “leave me alone”. We fail to analyze what exactly this means. . She may not mean it when she tells you to leave her alone, but she does deserves a break from you. Inundating her excess amount of unnecessary attention will lead her to truly wanting to be left alone. She deserves some moments to think alone and have a little peace without you interrupting it. You are the reason she is currently suffering, you aren’t the remedy at the moment, you are simply a thorn in the wound. Yes, a woman or anyone will say things that they don’t mean when they are hurt, but that’s not the time to use persistence to manipulate her or force your way back in. It’s unfair to her. Use this time to make necessary changes if you want really want her in your life. Change the habits that have lead up to your poor decisions that put her through this in the first place. Make adjustments and modify your behaviors. If you truly loved that woman, you know she deserves the best of you, so don’t try to make her believe in the same you who trashed her heart. Focus on working on you and give her time. You may think it’s wise to show her any progress you’ve made, but it will most likely remind her of the fact that you didn’t do those things in the relationship. Leave that woman alone as you leave that old you behind. As time passes by she will see the change if she wants to and she will find reasons to give you a second chance.
I’m Finally Home
Babygirl, I realize that when I look at you and see the hurt behind your eyes, I only see a very small part of your story. Your gaze speaks volumes and the whisper of your soul utters a thousand words I will never forget. Yet, I know that I’ve only seen a glimpse of the woman that lies hidden beneath the surface. You’ve protected your heart because of all the ones in your past that tried to do more than hurt you, they wanted to control who you were.
Weaker men will always seek to destroy and diminish a strong woman, but you were better than that, smarter than them. They never really got close enough to the woman behind the mask to take away your identity. But it’s made you so very cautious and very hesitant to seek love again. They hurt you, because you wanted to believe they were different. But until someone comes along that sees past the facade, behind your walls and through to your soul, they will always be the same… Until me.
I know you don’t need to be saved, completed or fulfilled. You simply long to be loved, respected and appreciated for the person you are, the road you’ve traveled and the woman you’re destined to become. But to truly comprehend the depths of you, it takes more than a day, week or a month, but a lifetime. Each level unveiled only gives way to a deeper and more wondrous truth. You’ve been waiting a long time to reveal who you really are to someone, even longer to trust someone with every aspect of your heart. To have and to hold, to love and be loved, to be cherished for the remainder of your days, until the stars fall from the skies and time ceases to slip from the hourglass.
Truth is, I’ve searched all my life for the person that would come along that my soul would recognize in the passing of a second. You’re that one to me, my person that I’ve known since before I knew of anything else- I just hadn’t found you yet in this lifetime. I wish your broken road hadn’t hurt you so, all the men before weren’t lessons, but as our paths were always meant to meet, I know that this was always the way we were going to go. One man, one woman, one love.
Your smile and embrace tells me that you finally feel the one thing the others never could make you feel: Safe.
As I look in your eyes, I can feel my heart smile as the single thought comes to me. I’ve finally come home.
How Love Really Works
I don’t believe in the saying that if you two are meant to be, it will happen. That’s not how love works. If you love someone, you have to fight for it. You have to make things work for the both of you. Don’t just relay it with if you’re meant to be then the universe will find its way to be back in each others arms. Because the truth is, it will not.
Anything can happen in just a day, the universe is not responsible for the love that you have. Time is not cupid to bring you back together. Love doesn’t work without putting so much effort in it. If you’re willing to be with that person, then you make a choice and make it work. Don’t just say that it will happen someday. Don’t let your chance slip away. Treasure it while it’s still there because it’s hard to patch things when it’s already too late. It’s hard to meet that person again and everything won’t be the same. Because love needs two people who’s willing to work for it.
If that person is still yours now then do everything to keep them. Don’t ever let them go because the universe might not let you meet again for the second time. Keep that person this time.
Sir Nilo's Writings 