… and in the end you’re just something I failed


Journey to Recovery

Don’t be scared to speak up. It’s harder when you try to burden everything on your own. If you feel broken know that every day you can become that much more stronger, and if you keep at it every part of you will be stronger and more sturday than it ever was before. Don’t let people silence you. Once you’re ready don’t hold back and make your voice matter. If you feel safer being silent that doesn’t mean you’re wrong and it’s okay to take your time. Anyone who suffers from addiction, abuse, ED, or anything else under the sun, you matter. It’s okay to seek support or even therapy. Or any safe places. Know you’re not alone. Even if it may feel like that. If you even have that one person it could feel a little less lonely. And it is lonely especially if people haven’t gone through certain things it feels like they can’t truly understand they can only think that they do.

I Miss Being Called Dad…

Thought by now I would be used to it and it wouldn’t hurt as much as the very first time it ever happened; Arriving home and not being welcomed by YOUR little person, getting bombarded with mini hugs and little kisses. You find unicorn pajamas laying on your bed belonging to the little person who slept with you the last two nights. Then you find the little container containing the slime that was crafted over the weekend, better make sure you don’t lose it otherwise you won’t hear the end of it next time… Then you remember that next time is two weeks away again.

Fatigue begins to take its toll, drained by the heavy-long drive, the never ending traffic, and seeing faces filled with disgust has become a permanent way of life. You then go to bed with tears in your eyes, and your only comfort is YOU reminding yourself that two weeks will go by quick.. At this point you begin to miss that cute little voice saying “Daddy, I love you..” I miss being called DAD on a daily basis.

No one will ever understand this pain unless they’ve lived it themselves. If that’s the the case, I hope you find your peace soon, my fellow friend. . . .

Most Richly Blessed

I asked for strength, that I might overcome any challenge. I was made weak, that I might understand those in need.

I asked for health, that I might accomplish anything. I was given sickness, that I might understand the human condition.

I asked for riches, that I might be without want,. I was given only what I needed, that I might learn to avoid greed..

I asked for power, that I might have the praise of others, I was given mortality, that I might know my limitations.

I asked to be given everything, that I might live without desire. I was given nothing but goals, that I might understand ambition.

I got nothing that I asked for, But everything I had hoped for. Almost despite my own unnecessary requests,

My unspoken prayers were answered completely, And I found all that I sought in places I never dreamed. It was never about what I wanted, Yet always about what I truly needed.

I am, among all people, most richly blessed.

How Life Goes

In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.