You lose her every time you ignore her. When you act like you don’t care about what and how she feels. You lose her when you let her fall asleep at night with tears in her eyes. When you don’t sort and fix things out before you go to bed. You lose her every time you choose to go out with your homies instead of staying with her because she badly needs you. When you ignore her calls and her texts. You lose her every time you lie to her. When you tell her your going to bed but instead your wide awake busy on your phone. You lose her every time you make her feel alone. When she is breaking down and you don’t even show the slightest concern to her. You lose her every time you fail to give her the attention she deserves. When all you do is accuse her of being demanding and unfair because the truth is you never tried to reach out to her needs. You lose her every time you become insensible. You lose her when you break your promises to her. You lose her every time you become selfish. When you think only of yourself… This is how you lost her.
Never Stop Dating Her
Do you still do the things you did when you were dating her? Do you remember all the little things that you would do to make her feel special? The way that you would take her hand and hold it for no other reason than just so that you could feel her hand in yours and look at each other and smile? Does your face still light up when you look into her eyes? If not, then what’s changed? Has she changed or have you stopped trying and she’s stopped asking? A woman loves to be loved. She craves your attention and affection, she wants to feel desired by you, she wants you to want her. But, if she has to ask you if you still love her, then she already knows how you feel. If she’s stopped being your priority, then believe me, she knows it. Do you still sit up at night talking about everything under the stars? When did you stop being interested in each other? She doesn’t want to just love you, she wants to be IN LOVE with you; are you making it easy for her to be? Don’t take her love for granted, show her how much you appreciate her. Start dating her again. Don’t just talk about work or the bills, talk about dreams and adventures and make her laugh; let her escape with you from all the responsibilities and have fun together. Show her why you fell in love with her. Pay attention to this woman, she’s your life; love her like it.
Depression
I think one of the headrest parts of having depression is talking about depression. I don’t typically open up on here or to most people about it honestly. I feel like telling anyone you have depression puts this stigma on you. One that most people look down upon. They think you’re weak, crazy and unstable. When in fact, most of the time you can’t even tell if someone is depressed because they hid it so well.
They don’t know that while I smile all day, laugh with coworkers and post smiling selfies, that at night I go home and cry in the shower. They don’t know that even though I have loving parents and a younger sister who support me in everything I do, I still feel lonelier than anyone will ever understand. They don’t know that in the span of 2 years I held on to someone who I tried desperately to convince that they loved me, only to be taken advantage of on multiple occasions, have my heart ripped out of my chest and stomp on it a couple of times. They don’t get that even though I have hundreds of friends on social media that I go days without a single text message from anyone. They can’t understand that I don’t have a single person I can really talk to or be myself around. They don’t see that simply making a new friend or leaving the house to do something new is 10x harder for me.
They don’t get it because they don’t take the time to understand it. If you don’t have depression, you will never truly understand what it’s like to be a person with it. The struggles we go through on a daily basis just to make it through the day. I wouldn’t wish depression on my worst enemy, that’s how bad it is. So please, don’t be a dick and make insensitive comments about depression when you have no idea what it’s like.
Some of the bravest people I know have struggled with this disease, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. My heart goes out to anyone that doesn’t feel like they have any other options than to take their own life. I understand what you’re going through and I wish someone else could of done something, anything, to let you know you weren’t alone. So please, be a little nicer to people you meet, you never know what a simple hi or how are you doing could mean to a person.
Never Again
I would drive home with anticipation, hoping you would be there, along with my daughter, waiting for me with open arms.. I eventually stopped having such high expectations.
Every time my phone rang or a text came through I always hoped it was you. Of course the only times it where you is when you needed something from me. Once that was done I would seize to exist until you needed something again.
I made wishes every time the clock would strike 11:11, at night and during the day too. Maybe I missed a day or two, because my wish never came true…
I would say a little prayer each night, hoping that tomorrow you would fall in love with me all over again. Of course tomorrow never came, nowadays your love belongs to someone else.
All the lonely cold nights I stayed awake, waiting, hoping you would miraculously show up at my doorstep and say I’M BACK! I gave up on that. If you wanted to you would of already came back a long time ago.
It took time but I finally realized that you are just never coming back, you will never love me the way you once did. Never again. I’ll never be special to you, maybe when you need something from me, but otherwise I won’t even cross your mind..
Competition
We are so caught up in competing with each other, with our siblings, our coworkers, teammates, neighbours, spouses and on and on, that we inherently start to believe that’s what life is basically about. Survival of the fittest. Be better, buffer, richer, sexier, smarter than the people around us. We think competition equates success. But we are woefully wrong. It’s not competition that is important, it is cooperation. Kindness and compassion not only builds better communities, improve the lives around us, but makes us a better person. If we are to thrive as a society or an individual we need to change our habits and daily practices. Competition has its time and place, but in life, pales in comparison to altruism and empathy. Lift others up. Be gentle. Take care of your tribe. Be generous and giving. Embrace the fact that the only competition you sincerely need is with yourself to be better, do better today than yesterday.
Sir Nilo's Writings 