… and in the end you’re just something I failed
Tag: heartbroken
Journey to Recovery
Don’t be scared to speak up. It’s harder when you try to burden everything on your own. If you feel broken know that every day you can become that much more stronger, and if you keep at it every part of you will be stronger and more sturday than it ever was before. Don’t let people silence you. Once you’re ready don’t hold back and make your voice matter. If you feel safer being silent that doesn’t mean you’re wrong and it’s okay to take your time. Anyone who suffers from addiction, abuse, ED, or anything else under the sun, you matter. It’s okay to seek support or even therapy. Or any safe places. Know you’re not alone. Even if it may feel like that. If you even have that one person it could feel a little less lonely. And it is lonely especially if people haven’t gone through certain things it feels like they can’t truly understand they can only think that they do.
Everything Happens for a Reason
I realized I couldn’t change what had happened. I couldn’t change my feelings. I couldn’t change hers. I couldn’t change the pain she brought me and I brought her. I couldn’t change the night everything got ruined. But I could change how I handled future situations. I wanted to keep a positive mindset and not be depressed . I was given an opportunity to redefine who I was in a positive way. Yeah it was unfortunate that I lost her. I still think about her everyday, hoping she’s doing well, hoping she’s moved on and happy. Yes I miss our adventures and conversations and stupid ideas. But I don’t miss not knowing who I was. I don’t miss belonging to another person. I don’t miss giving myself up entirely to feel loved and accepted by someone who didn’t want me the way I wanted them anymore. But that’s okay. I believe everything happens for a reason. This is a journey. Although the road here has been hard and sometimes it feels real lonely, I have to remind myself to be strong and to not give up! I hope you all can take from this and see that it is possible to move on. It is possible to overcome any situation you think you won’t get over. This is my journey.
I Needed Time
Because of you, I learned what it meant to be at peace with myself. After you left, I learned how to be alone. It took a long time for me to understand that being alone didn’t mean I had to be lonely. I worked on myself. I spoiled myself. I loved myself. And I gave myself the best gift I could have asked for. Time. I needed time to be okay with my own thoughts. My own feelings. My own need to understand the way things were and why I felt a certain way about certain things. I needed time to confess my sins to myself and truly understand what I wanted to get out of the situation I was in. I needed time to be broken so I could understand what I needed to be strong.
Thank You For Giving Up On Me
When you left, I never thought I’d be able to scrape together parts of my broken heart. You left me holding the pieces of a shattered soul, feeling unloved and unwanted. For so long, I fought back the tears and sadness, often silent when I was screaming inside. Little by little, I remembered who I was, struggling to kindle the fire that you extinguished in my deepest depths. I thought I had lost it all when I lost you, but I began to understand it was just the opposite. I discovered that everything that truly mattered was just buried within my heart, So long lost and forgotten that I didn’t know how to uncover it.. until you forced my hand. When you left, I didn’t know how’d I go on or what tomorrow would bring. It was then that I began to realize who I was and what I was capable of. I guess I should thank you for setting me free and opening my eyes to the possibilities. You forced me to find the strength that I never knew I had. I’m no longer pushed by my problems. I’m led by my dreams. You thought you broke my heart, but truthfully, you did me a favor. Because of you, I’m wiser, stronger, braver and more driven than ever before. I didn’t give up on me, and in the end I found myself on the path to a better life filled with happiness. You gave me the greatest gift of all by leaving. The way to a better me. Thank you for giving up on me. You showed me what truly matters more than anything: Me. Now, I have the greatest love of all.. my own. In the end, I won back my freedom, my strength and my vision for a brighter future. This time, I’m catching my dreams and not ever giving up on any of them.
Sir Nilo's Writings 